30 Reasons Boomers Think Old-School Courting Beats Modern Dating
It wasn’t about likes, late-night texts, or wondering what ‘we are.’ Courting—yes, actual courting—meant showing up, making plans, and being clear about your intentions.
Ask most Boomers and they’ll tell you: sure, things weren’t perfect, but dating back then had a kind of simplicity (and sincerity) that today’s app-driven chaos just can’t compete with.
Here are 30 reasons Boomers still believe old-school courting beats modern dating—and why they might be onto something.
1. Handwritten Letters
The beauty of a handwritten letter is its tangible permanence—an artifact of affection that one can hold, cherish, and reread countless times. Boomers cherished these letters not just as means of communication, but as tokens of sincerity and effort. Unlike today’s fleeting texts, a letter required thought, patience, and an investment of time, making each word precious and deliberate.
In the process of writing, one had to consider their words carefully, knowing that erasing was not an option. Letters also served as mementos, often tied with ribbons and kept in shoeboxes under beds, waiting to be rediscovered. This tangible connection offered a sense of permanence that digital messages simply can’t replicate.
Moreover, the anticipation of receiving a letter added a layer of excitement and yearning. It was an event, a moment to savor with a cup of coffee or tea, feeling the weight of the words and the emotion they carried. This ritualistic aspect made correspondence more than just an exchange of information; it was a courtship in itself.
2. Showing Up With Flowers
In the era of traditional courting, flowers were not just gifts; they were symbols of affection, respect, and admiration. When someone showed up at your door with a bouquet, it was a gesture that spoke volumes. Boomers often saw this as an act of intentionality, a clear sign that the suitor was willing to go the extra mile to impress and convey their feelings.
Selecting the right bouquet required thoughtfulness, as each flower conveyed different meanings. This attention to detail demonstrated a level of consideration and care that was deeply appreciated. The act of showing up with flowers turned an ordinary visit into a special occasion, setting a tone of romance and genuine interest.
Moreover, presenting flowers in person was a bold move, requiring confidence and vulnerability. It was a personal touch that text messages or virtual gifts cannot replicate. This simple act of kindness and chivalry often left a lasting impression, creating memories that stood the test of time and further igniting the spark of romance.
3. Picking Up At The Door
For Boomers, the act of picking someone up at their front door was more than just a logistical arrangement—it was a ritual that set the stage for the entire date. This practice embodied respect and courtesy, as it required time and effort to arrive punctually and make a good impression.
The moment of arrival was often filled with excitement and butterflies, as both parties prepared to embark on a shared adventure. This face-to-face interaction allowed for an immediate personal connection that is often lacking in the digital-first culture of today.
Furthermore, picking someone up at their door was a way to demonstrate genuine interest and commitment. It was a chance to exchange pleasantries with family members, adding an element of accountability and respect to the courtship process. This personal touch transformed what could be a mundane occurrence into a moment of genuine connection and anticipation.
4. Formal Dates
Boomers fondly recall the tradition of formal dates, where every outing felt like a special occasion. Dressing up and going to a nice restaurant wasn’t just about the meal; it was about creating a memorable experience, a departure from the everyday routine. This sense of occasion brought with it a certain excitement and anticipation that is sometimes missing in today’s casual dating culture.
Formal dates were an opportunity to showcase one’s best self, not just in terms of appearance but also in manners and conversation. It was about putting one’s best foot forward, making an effort to impress and connect on a deeper level.
Moreover, the structure of a formal date provided a clear framework for interaction, which Boomers appreciated. There was a rhythm to it—starting with a polite greeting, progressing through the meal, and ending with a thoughtful goodbye. This clarity and orderliness offered a sense of security and understanding, allowing both parties to enjoy the moment fully without the ambiguity that often accompanies modern dating practices.
5. Dance Halls and Live Music
Dance halls and live music venues were the epicenters of social interaction and romance for many Boomers. The pulsating energy of a live band provided the perfect backdrop for a night of dancing and connection. Unlike the solitary experience of listening to music through headphones today, these venues fostered a sense of community and shared experience.
Attending a dance was an event that required preparation and anticipation. It was an opportunity to express oneself through movement and to communicate feelings in a way that transcended words. The act of asking someone to dance was a bold gesture, filled with hope and vulnerability.
Furthermore, dance halls were places where people could escape the pressures of everyday life and simply enjoy the moment. The thrill of spinning around the dance floor with a partner created a bond that was both exhilarating and intimate. For Boomers, these experiences were not just about the music; they were about creating memories and deepening connections in a dynamic and joyful setting.
6. Respectful Courtship Traditions
For Boomers, courtship was a journey marked by respect and mutual admiration. The traditions that governed this process were seen as essential in building strong foundations for future relationships. Respect was demonstrated in various small gestures, from holding the door open to offering one’s seat, creating an environment of consideration and care.
Such traditions emphasized the importance of getting to know each other over time, allowing relationships to develop naturally. This slow-paced approach was often seen as a path to discovering true compatibility, free from the rushed judgments that can accompany modern dating apps.
Boomers appreciated the clarity that came with these traditions—expectations were communicated through actions, making intentions clear and misunderstandings less likely. It was a dance of mutual respect, where both parties played their part in nurturing the connection. This methodical approach to dating was cherished for its ability to build trust and establish meaningful, lasting relationships.
7. The Art of Conversation
In the past, the art of conversation was the cornerstone of courtship, a skill highly valued by Boomers. Unlike today’s often fragmented exchanges via text, conversations during dates were immersive experiences. Face-to-face dialogue allowed for the exchange of ideas, the sharing of dreams, and the building of a genuine connection.
Boomers fondly remember the thrill of engaging in deep conversations, exploring each other’s thoughts and feelings without the distraction of screens. This form of communication required individuals to be present and attentive, listening actively and responding thoughtfully.
Moreover, the art of conversation was seen as a means to reveal character and compatibility. The ability to hold a conversation demonstrated intelligence, wit, and empathy—qualities that were highly prized in a potential partner. This emphasis on verbal interaction created a rich tapestry of understanding and connection, forming the bedrock of many longstanding relationships.
8. Courtship Calls (Phone Etiquette)
Back when phone calls were the primary mode of communication, Boomers practiced what might now seem like an art form: phone etiquette. Making a call meant more than just chatting—it was a sign of interest and commitment. Each call was an event, often premeditated and awaited with bated breath.
The act of calling was intentional. A suitor would not just dial without a purpose; they planned what to say, ensuring the conversation was engaging and meaningful. This required a level of confidence and courtesy that showed respect for the other person’s time and feelings.
Moreover, phone calls had a rhythm—greetings, the main conversation, and a proper farewell. This structure provided clarity and respect, ensuring both parties left the call with no ambiguity. Unlike today’s quick texts or voicemails, the effort behind a phone call was a gesture of genuine interest, making each interaction memorable and meaningful.
9. Family Involvement
In traditional courting, family involvement was an integral part of the dating process, providing both a sense of security and community. Boomers appreciated this system as it brought a level of accountability and support, ensuring that relationships were built on solid ground.
Meeting the family was not just a milestone; it was a rite of passage. This involvement allowed families to share their wisdom, offer guidance, and give their blessing, reinforcing the seriousness of the relationship. For many, the acceptance of a partner’s family was as important as the partnership itself.
Moreover, family gatherings offered opportunities to observe one’s partner in a different light, revealing new facets of their personality. This holistic view helped individuals make informed decisions about their future together. The warmth and camaraderie of family involvement created a nurturing environment that fostered the growth of loving and lasting relationships.
10. Clear Intentions and Expectations
One of the hallmarks of old-school courting was the clarity of intentions and expectations. Boomers valued straightforward communication, where both parties understood the nature of their relationship and their future aspirations. This openness eliminated much of the ambiguity that often clouds modern dating.
Declaring one’s intentions was not seen as intimidating; rather, it was a sign of respect and commitment. It set the tone for the relationship, ensuring that both individuals were on the same page. This approach provided a solid foundation, reducing misunderstandings and fostering trust.
Furthermore, clear expectations allowed couples to align their goals and values, promoting a harmonious partnership. When both parties knew what they wanted, they could work together towards common objectives, creating a more fulfilling and supportive relationship. This level of transparency and mutual understanding was a cornerstone of successful courtship for Boomers.
11. Simplicity and Focus
In an age where distractions were fewer, Boomers reveled in the simplicity and focus that defined their courtship experiences. There was an emphasis on being present in the moment, allowing for deeper connections and more meaningful interactions.
Dating wasn’t cluttered with constant notifications or the pressure to capture every moment for social media. Instead, individuals could enjoy each other’s company without the interference of technology, leading to authentic exchanges and genuine enjoyment of each other’s presence.
Moreover, simplicity allowed for a focus on the person rather than the spectacle. Dates were about getting to know the individual, their thoughts, dreams, and quirks, without the need for elaborate plans or grand gestures. This focus on simplicity fostered a sense of intimacy and understanding, laying the groundwork for long-lasting, heartfelt relationships.
12. Gentlemanly Gestures
For Boomers, gentlemanly gestures were more than just acts of chivalry; they were expressions of respect and care. These small but significant actions, such as opening a door or offering an umbrella, communicated a deep level of consideration and affection.
Such gestures were ingrained in the dating culture, setting a tone of kindness and respect from the outset. They were seen as a way to honor the other person, making them feel valued and cherished. This tradition of thoughtfulness extended beyond mere politeness, symbolizing a genuine desire to make the other person comfortable and happy.
Moreover, these gestures often sparked joy and appreciation, elevating ordinary moments into memorable ones. They provided a tangible expression of one’s character and intentions, reinforcing the emotional connection between partners. For Boomers, these gentlemanly acts were an essential part of the courtship process, embodying the essence of love and respect in their relationships.
13. Community and Mutual Friends
For Boomers, community and mutual friends played a vital role in the courtship process, acting as a support network and a source of shared experiences. Dating within a community provided a sense of familiarity and comfort, where individuals could rely on mutual acquaintances for introductions and insights.
Having common friends often meant that there was an existing foundation of trust and understanding. It created opportunities for group activities and social gatherings, where potential partners could interact in a relaxed setting, free from the pressures of a formal date.
Moreover, being part of a community offered a sense of accountability and support, where friends could offer advice, encouragement, and perspective. This network of relationships fostered a sense of belonging and security, helping couples navigate the ups and downs of courtship with confidence. For Boomers, the involvement of community and mutual friends enriched the dating experience, providing a nurturing environment for love to blossom.
14. Slow and Steady Approach
The maxim “slow and steady wins the race” resonated deeply in traditional courting, where relationships were allowed to develop at a natural pace. Boomers appreciated this approach, as it provided time to truly get to know one another without the pressure to rush into commitment.
This leisurely pace allowed individuals to build a solid foundation of friendship and understanding before progressing to more serious stages. It encouraged thoughtful reflection and intentional decision-making, ensuring that partners were aligned in their values and goals.
Moreover, taking things slow allowed for the development of genuine emotions and trust. It provided space for individuals to explore their compatibility and grow together, resulting in deeper and more meaningful connections. This slow and steady approach to courtship was cherished by Boomers for its ability to foster relationships that were resilient and enduring.
15. Thoughtful Gestures
Thoughtful gestures were the cornerstone of old-school courting, where actions spoke louder than words. Boomers valued the importance of small, meaningful acts that demonstrated care and attention to detail. Whether it was a surprise picnic, a handwritten note, or a favorite book, these gestures conveyed a deep appreciation for the other person.
Such acts of kindness and consideration fostered a sense of intimacy and connection, making the other person feel special and valued. They were a way to express affection and understanding, to show that one truly knew and cared for the other.
Moreover, thoughtful gestures added an element of surprise and delight to the courtship process. They created moments of joy and excitement, strengthening the emotional bond between partners. For Boomers, these gestures were an essential part of building a loving relationship, where each action reflected a commitment to nurturing and cherishing one another.
16. Romantic Getaways
Romantic getaways were treasured opportunities for Boomers to escape the routine and spend quality time together. These trips were not just vacations; they were experiences designed to deepen the connection between partners, free from the distractions of daily life.
Such getaways provided a chance to explore new places and create shared memories, fostering a sense of adventure and discovery. Whether it was a cozy cabin in the woods or a weekend at a seaside resort, these trips offered a romantic setting where couples could relax and reconnect.
Morover, the planning and anticipation of a getaway added to the excitement and enjoyment. It was an opportunity to express thoughtfulness and creativity, to tailor the experience to one’s partner and create moments of joy and surprise. For Boomers, romantic getaways were a cherished tradition, offering a blend of romance, relaxation, and rekindling of affection.
17. Personalized Playlists and Mixtapes
Back in the days of cassettes and records, creating a personalized playlist or mixtape was one of the most intimate gestures in courtship. For Boomers, these compilations were not just collections of songs but expressions of love and personality.
Crafting a mixtape required time and effort, as one had to carefully select tracks that resonated with the emotions they wanted to convey. Each song was a message, a glimpse into the curator’s heart and mind, making the recipient feel understood and cherished.
Moreover, sharing a playlist was a way to connect through music, to create a shared soundtrack of memories and moments. It was a thoughtful gesture that could evoke emotion, nostalgia, and joy, turning ordinary music into a personal narrative of love. For Boomers, these mixtapes were treasured gifts, preserving the essence of their relationships in melodies and lyrics.
18. Serenades and Poems
Serenades and poems were the epitome of romantic expression for Boomers, turning simple words and melodies into heartfelt gestures of affection. These creative displays of emotion were seen as the ultimate acts of vulnerability and devotion.
Singing a serenade or writing a poem required courage and creativity, allowing individuals to share their innermost feelings in a personal and memorable way. It was an opportunity to showcase one’s talents and to touch the heart of a beloved with sincerity and passion.
Moreover, these artistic expressions were moments of pure connection, where the recipient felt truly seen and appreciated. They transformed ordinary moments into extraordinary experiences, etching the memory of love into the fabric of their relationship. For Boomers, serenades and poems were timeless gestures that captured the essence of romance in a unique and enduring way.
19. Shared Hobbies and Interests
For Boomers, sharing hobbies and interests was a key component of courtship, offering a natural way to bond and connect. Engaging in activities together allowed couples to explore common passions and deepen their understanding of one another.
Whether it was dancing, hiking, or cooking, these shared experiences fostered a sense of partnership and teamwork. They provided opportunities for laughter, learning, and growth, strengthening the emotional ties between partners.
Moreover, participating in hobbies together was a way to create lasting memories and traditions. It allowed individuals to express themselves and to appreciate their partner’s unique talents and perspectives. For Boomers, these shared interests were more than just leisure activities; they were integral parts of their relationships, enriching their lives and cementing their bonds.
20. Anticipation and Patience
In the realm of traditional dating, anticipation and patience were cherished virtues that infused courtship with a sense of magic and wonder. Boomers valued the thrill of waiting, the slow unfolding of a relationship that allowed emotions to develop naturally.
Anticipation added an element of excitement and mystery to dating, where each meeting or message was eagerly awaited and savored. It made the heart grow fonder, intensifying the joy of connection and the pleasure of companionship.
Moreover, patience allowed for a deeper exploration of compatibility and understanding. It encouraged individuals to take their time, to build a foundation of trust and respect that would support their relationship in the long term. For Boomers, this emphasis on anticipation and patience was a reflection of their belief in the enduring power of love, where great things were worth waiting for.
21. Surprise and Spontaneity
Boomers embraced the element of surprise and spontaneity in their courtship, believing it added excitement and vitality to relationships. Unexpected gestures and impromptu plans kept the spark alive, turning ordinary days into extraordinary adventures.
Surprises could be as simple as a spontaneous picnic in the park or a surprise visit at work, each act adding to the tapestry of shared experiences. These unplanned moments created a sense of joy and connection, reminding partners of the love and energy they shared.
Moreover, spontaneity encouraged couples to embrace the present, to seize opportunities for fun and connection without overthinking. It brought a sense of playfulness and creativity to relationships, fostering a dynamic and fulfilling bond. For Boomers, surprise and spontaneity were integral to the art of courtship, infusing relationships with warmth, laughter, and love.
22. Shared Meals and Cooking Together
For Boomers, sharing meals and cooking together were intimate acts that fostered connection and closeness. Food was not just sustenance; it was a way to express love and care, to create moments of togetherness and joy.
Cooking together allowed couples to collaborate, to learn from each other, and to create something delicious and meaningful. It was an opportunity to share traditions, to experiment and to bond over the shared task of preparing a meal.
Moreover, shared meals were times to relax and enjoy each other’s company, free from distractions. They provided a space for conversation, laughter, and reflection, strengthening the emotional ties between partners. For Boomers, these culinary experiences were cherished rituals that enriched their relationships, providing nourishment for both body and soul.
23. Social Dancing
Social dancing was more than just a pastime for Boomers; it was a vibrant part of courtship that brought people together and created lasting connections. Whether it was swing, ballroom, or salsa, dancing offered a joyful and expressive way to connect with a partner.
For many, dancing was an opportunity to showcase grace and coordination, to engage in a physical conversation that transcended words. It was a chance to lead and follow, to trust and be trusted, as couples moved in harmony across the dance floor.
Moreover, social dancing was a communal experience, bringing people together and fostering a sense of community and camaraderie. It provided a lively backdrop for romance, where couples could enjoy the rhythm and energy of the moment. For Boomers, social dancing was a cherished tradition, capturing the joy and excitement of love in every step.
24. Traditional Love Letters
Traditional love letters held a special place in the hearts of Boomers, serving as timeless expressions of love and devotion. These written declarations were more than just words on paper; they were heartfelt messages that captured the essence of one’s feelings.
Writing a love letter required thoughtfulness and effort, as each word was carefully chosen to convey the depth of emotion. It was a personal and intimate act, allowing individuals to articulate their affection and admiration in a lasting and meaningful way.
Moreover, love letters were cherished keepsakes, often saved and revisited over the years. They provided a tangible link to the past, a reminder of the love and connection shared. For Boomers, traditional love letters were treasured expressions of the heart, preserving the romance and beauty of their relationships for generations to come.
25. Personal Courting Space
In the era of traditional dating, having a personal courting space was a cherished aspect of building intimacy and connection. For Boomers, this space served as a sanctuary where they could share moments of privacy, conversation, and companionship.
A personal courting space was often a thoughtfully arranged area, designed to create a warm and inviting atmosphere. It was a place where partners could relax, listen to music, and enjoy each other’s company without interruption.
Moreover, having a dedicated space for courtship added a layer of significance to the relationship, symbolizing a commitment to nurturing and developing the connection. It allowed for meaningful interactions and the creation of shared memories, fostering a deeper bond. For Boomers, a personal courting space was more than just a physical location; it was a reflection of the love and care invested in the relationship.
26. Public Displays of Affection
Public displays of affection (PDAs) were endearing expressions of love for Boomers, offering a way to showcase their emotions openly and confidently. These acts weren’t about grand gestures, but rather about sharing genuine moments of tenderness and connection.
Holding hands during a walk, a gentle kiss on the cheek, or a warm embrace in the park—these small yet meaningful acts demonstrated a willingness to express love without reservation. They were affirmations of the relationship, visible to the world yet intimate in their sincerity.
Moreover, PDAs provided reassurance and solidity to the relationship, reinforcing the bond in both private and public settings. They were moments of joy and pride, creating shared memories and strengthening the connection between partners. For Boomers, public displays of affection were cherished declarations of love, celebrating the beauty and strength of their relationships.
27. Creative Courting Rituals
Creative courting rituals were a hallmark of traditional dating for Boomers, offering unique and personal ways to express affection and build connection. These rituals were often imaginative, reflecting the individuals’ personalities and shared interests.
Whether it was a themed picnic, a homemade scavenger hunt, or a custom playlist for a special date, these creative gestures infused courtship with fun and originality. They provided a platform for partners to share their creativity, humor, and thoughtfulness, strengthening the bond between them.
Moreover, these rituals were opportunities to create lasting memories and traditions. They added an element of surprise and delight to the relationship, showcasing the depth of care and attention invested. For Boomers, creative courting rituals were more than just activities; they were cherished expressions of love and commitment, enriching their relationships with joy and meaning.
28. Quiet Moments and Reflection
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, quiet moments and reflection have become rare, but for Boomers, these were integral to the courtship process. Embracing silence allowed couples to connect without the need for constant conversation or activity.
These moments of tranquility provided space for introspection and appreciation, where partners could simply enjoy each other’s presence and the beauty of their surroundings. It was a time to reflect on their relationship, their feelings, and their future together.
Moreover, quiet moments offered a sense of peace and contentment, strengthening the emotional bond between partners. They were a reminder of the depth and stability of their connection, allowing love to flourish in its purest form. For Boomers, these serene interludes were a treasured aspect of courtship, highlighting the power of presence and the beauty of simply being together.
29. Commitment Over Casualness
Commitment was at the forefront of old-school courting, where relationships were often built on the promise of a shared future. This focus on commitment created a sense of security and trust that is sometimes lacking in modern dating. The consistency of knowing that one was building towards something substantial brought peace of mind.
In today’s fast-paced world, where casual relationships are more prevalent, this level of commitment is considered a rarity. Many Boomers find solace in the idea that their relationships were not just fleeting encounters but meaningful connections.
The assurance of long-term commitment often involved shared goals and dreams, making the journey of life a cooperative and supportive endeavor.
30. The Magic of Face-to-Face Interaction
Face-to-face interactions provided a magical component to old-school courting, where genuine emotions and expressions were exchanged in person. This face time allowed for authentic engagement that is often lost in digital communication.
The ability to read body language and subtle cues fostered a connection that extended beyond words, creating a powerful emotional bond. Boomers often reminisce about these personal encounters that held significant meaning.
In an era dominated by screens, the magic of direct interaction is often missed, leaving a longing for the tangible presence and warmth that only face-to-face meetings can offer.